I’ve been having a hard time sleeping

I’m not sure what is up with me lately but i have so much trouble sleeping. I toss and turn all night and can’t silence my mind at all. It’s awfully annoying.

Night ruined. So fed the fuck up and done.

I seriously can’t understand how someone can claim this is the life they want but I leave for an hour for some me time and all I hear is bitching. Id rather do this alone than with someone who doesn’t appreciate me enough to understand I need a break once in a while

Being comfortable

I’m all for getting comfortable in a relationship. Seeing how I really don’t care for my body and would love to change something’s about it so it’s really nice to be comfortable enough to walk around naked and not care especially after 3 kids. It’s also nice to be comfortable enough to shower together, bum out and not have to constantly do my hair and make up. I just can’t justify getting so comfortable you let yourself go, weight wise, hygiene wise, or even your out look on a lot of things. Just because you get comfortable or get married you should never stop “dating” as well as becoming a parent shouldn’t take up so much of your time that you forget you have a relationship to. Being a parent always comes first yes but your relationship comes in second. The things guys/girls do to get their significant other should never stop. The flowers, cute notes, movie dates( either stay in or go out) dinner dates or just plan walks or shopping. Everyone does things that on a few months of getting comfortable they wouldn’t do. We need to be able to show one another in a relationship that we did cute things to get you and will continue to keep you. I’ve seen so many relationships where they fell into plan old routine, they get bored, they fight , they break up. I hate saying it but a year into marriage and I can feel it becoming routine. I be a mother to my kids all day. A maid for part of it so my house stays clean, a cook so I can feed my family, then back to a maid then a mother again. I keep hoping it will change as the kids get more independent, but back to comfort. It’s okay to be comfortable, but it’s good to have boundaries about how comfortable you get. Hey I’m all for skipping a day of showering if I didn’t do much but sit home with the boys, but just learn to set limits and stand near them!

So it’s been a while

Let me just start off by apologizing for being away for so long. I have been pretty busy. Let me just fill you all in really quick. Since I’ve last been blogging I have since been married been through a bit of a roller coaster ride and have delievered my 3rd handsome baby boy. His name is Jameson Nickolaus Murphy. His brothers Noah Alexander and Dylan Michael love him just as much as myself and their daddy does. I have spent almost the last year doing what I have had to for my family. This includes selling our first official home we bought and moving back into an apartment due to Maintence we could no longer keep up with. I have fallen distant to blogging and it has brought to my attention by an old friend about how I use to blog and it was a great way to keep up in my daily life even though we haven’t talked in so much. Now many of you may find this weird but I found it heartfelt and caring that someone who I use to be so close to used something I loved doing to just check on me to make sure I was doing ok. Now a lot of you have seen a few posts about my mother in law passing away as well as me getting married. Now as the one year since I’ve been married is ticking down I will admit it’s been a rough year and I’m glad we have made it and managed with everything that has happened. As I am aware this does sound like I have had my doubts but I haven’t. It is proven that the first year in a marriage is always the roughest. But motherhood is calling so I will be back


Pretty sure I figured out who was doing all the shit talking anonymously. Haha get a life!

You think you got it all figured out, dont cha?? Once a slut, always a slut. I pity your husband chicky.

Do you feel brave behind an anonymous wall? It’s cute you care so much about me and what I’m doing. Thanks for the
Deep concern let me know when you grow up okay thanks

Love always
I pity the parents who ever have birth to such a pussy 😘

Christmas this year is already shitty

I can’t get in the Xmas spirit at all! Unfortunately within the first week of December my bestfriend, the woman who gave my husband life and is the grandmother of my children suddenly passed away last Thursday and we couldn’t be more devistated. I honestly don’t feel like she’s gone even though physically she is. My daily routine with the boys is all out if whack. I’m not sure what to do at all. My husband is beyond devastated. We have decided though If we are having a girl this time we will be naming her Marleyann Sophia Murphy or Marleyann Cassandra Murphy. Just undecided on which one but either way it will represent his mother, my mother in law and our princesses grandmother. I hear her in my head reassuring me everything will be alright and to stay strong I guess that’s why I haven’t totally lost it yet. I can’t thank her enough for everything she’s done for me, the advice she’s given me and the beautiful trailer park wedding she helped me with. Call me white trash but at least I’m not afraid off societies bullshit and it’s labels. You can all keep that. We are all freaks in some way conform at your risk. With all my doubts about myself she taught me that, society will judge you no matter what and what’s the fun in pretending to be someone your not. I will make the memories for my family by her advice and I don’t have it all but I’m surely far from white trash for getting married the way I did because I loved it and the smiles on our families faces❤️